Why Do I Feel This Way?

Yet again?


I… I’m crying…
I feel (sniff), and yet…
I FEEL!
These tears flowing,
from what my have seemed to be
something familiar in my self,
my heart.

And there it is again (chuckles with tears),
recurring like a torturer to his ill-fated.
Yet still again?

Before I may be,
Am I it to be again?
Is this simple silent shouting the quiet longing I used to?
Why must he feel and be in the journey towards the void,
And be devoid, yet again… yet again (tear-filled eyes), of his own life,
But be filled of expiring aspirations?

But can I refuse (chuckles), or more revoke? (sniff)

I cannot but submit myself to his exactitude,
But be a puppet with no strings.
Why is the dead slave alive, the shouting climactic, and the torturer still the torturer anew,
(small voice) Why do I cry? …

Why do I feel this way,
when I don’t but want to?

(Wipes tears)

In the SSSSSSHOOOOOOOOOUTING eternal to lift my chest,
why can’t I just love the three words I see?

Why I can’t just say that I love her?
Why am I crying again?